A Slow Death
by ScreamingSayonara
Summary: As Gin lies on the ground dying, he imagines how his life could have been.


_He watches through fading eyes as she falls toward him, her face full of pain and tears. She appears to be screaming, but he can't hear anything. He wants to reach out to her, to tell her its alright, but his body won't move. It feels like a dream, as though none of this was real, that in any moment he'd wake up. It felt like time was moving slowly, she was still coming towards him, her tears streaming in iridescent drops, beading and rising upward, like bubbles. A warm feeling spread through his body and his vision began to fail. He noticed with a sense of chagrin that his breathing had ceased. His body was shutting down slowly, he realized. Rangiku was close to him now, mouth still open with terror, he saw the tears falling to his cheek, though he couldn't feel them. His eyes fell closed then, he wasn't able to hold them open any longer. In these last few moments, he allowed his mind to drift, to think of what could have been, a life beyond the misery he had been forced to bear all this time…_

Gin walked out of his Captain's quarters, his lieutenant in step behind him. He halted, then turned to put a hand on Izuru's shoulder,"Kira-san, why dun ya start the squad's trainin' fer today.. I have some personal business ta take care of.." He smiled warmly, his expression unguarded. The young lieutenant gave him a nod then smiled, "Yes Ichimaru Taichou, thank you," Gin watched proudly as the boy headed off towards the barracks; he knew it made him happy to be given such responsibility. Crossing his arms, he made towards the squad 5 barracks. He was met with a pair of shinigami at the gate. He waved a friendly hello before addressing them, "Hello gentlemen, Jus' comin' ta visit the Captain, care ta let me through?" The shinigami looked at him, obviously more than slightly intimidated. "Uhh, yes Captain Ichimaru, go ahead." The taller of the two managed to stutter out. Gin nodded in thanks as he entered the 5th squad's grounds, heading towards the Captain's quarters. He gave a short knock before the door flew open, the sound of jazz filling the air.

"Oh, Gin! I wasn't expecting you.. Come in, come in.." He smiled enthusiastically, his long hair flipping as he turned to walk back inside. "Sit down, please," He said, turning the music down enough to hear each other talk, but not so that it was drowned out completely. Turning around to face him, already holding two cups of tea, Shinji asked, "What is it you want, Gin?" He handed a cup to Gin, who took it as he sat by the small table. Gin turned the cup around in his hand nervously.

"Ahh yes, well, I wanted ta ask yer advice 'bout somethin', Sensei." Gin hesitated a little bit. "I think I'm gonna ask Rangiku ta marry me," he blushed a little, a boyish grin spreading across his face, like a child talking about a crush. Shinji smiled compassionately. He laughed softly before replying,

"Haha finally decided to get serious, eh Gin?" He smiled, taking a sip of the tea. "What d'ya need advice about, then?" He asked, a sense of pride unable to hide itself from his expression.

"Uh, I dunno.. I guess I jus' needed ta get a lil support.. haha" He scratched his head, his face obviously nervous.

"Well you have my blessings, if that's what your asking for.. But I'm not your Captain anymore, you can do whatever you want," He said with a smile, "Just go and do it quick before you lose your nerve," He chuckled, taking another sip of tea. Gin stood up then, leaving the untouched cup of tea on the table.

"Haha, you're right, Sensei, Imma go then.. Thanks!" He waved before taking his leave, almost running out the door.

In no time, he was standing outside Rangiku's living quarters in the 10th squad grounds.. He hadn't bothered going through the front gate, he'd simply flashed as fast as he could, straight to her door. For a moment, he'd had the utmost confidence, running over there. He must've been caught up in the moment, because standing there, he noticed how his hands began to shake nervously. He stood there, unmoving for a while before the door opened in front of him, Rangiku's slim form appearing in front of him, holding a stack of paperwork. She jumped back a little when she saw him, then laughed, "Ah, Gin! You scared me! Someone as creepy as you shouldn't go around sneakin' up on people!" She smiled happily up at him. "What's up? What're you doin' here? Don't you got important captain's business to take care of?" She teased, scrunching her nose at him. He smiled back at her lovingly, his gaze never moving from her eyes.

"Uhh Ran, I actually came here ta ask ya somethin'.." He said, his voice trembling slightly. Her face was still playful as she replied,

"Well what is it? Spit it out, Gin! I don't got all day to stand here!" She joked. He stared at her, his face becoming serious. He dropped to the ground in front of her, on his knees. He reached up to take hold of her wrists, her hands still holding the paper. His thumb brushed lightly over her wrist before he continued. She sucked in a breath, her face almost shocked, as realization dawned on her.

"Rangiku.. I love you.. So much." He smiled his face full of happiness, "I wanna spead ev'ry day with ya fer the rest o' my life.." He paused as he saw a tear escape her eyes, now glossy with moisture. "I wanna marry ya Ran, an' live for the rest of my time by yer side as yer husband." He swallowed back a wave of emotion before he was able to finish. "I love you.. Will you marry me?" He asked, his own eyes threatening a tear. She dropped the paper, the sheets flying everywhere as she began to cry in choking sobs.

"Y-yes!" she hiccupped, "Yes, Gin, of course I will!" She jumped forward, hugging him tightly, "I love you!" She cried.

Their wedding took place at their old meadow. It was extravagant and filled to the top with flowers in every possible place, and Sake was served in endless amounts, as requested by Rangiku. They danced, they kissed, they hugged, and cried. Captain Hirako congratulated the new couple, Captain Urahara had prepared the sweets; Rose, Captains Shunsui and Jushirou picked the music; Captain Yoruichi and Liuetenant Momo had helped Rangiku get ready. The day was perfect, a perfect start to a perfect life..

_..A life he will never have. He is brought back to his dying body like a slap in the face. His body feels cold and heavy, and he can feel Rangiku's presence, but can't hear or see her. His heart feels heavy, and he knows he is about to die. He will never be able to tell Rangiku he loves her, never be able to hold her, never be able to say goodbye. All he can do is lie there, his mind trapped in his limp body, waiting for an end. He feels his mind start to leave, his thoughts fading slowly, along with his memories._

_If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?_

_But I failed, in the end, I couldn't retrieve what was taken from you, Rangiku._

_I'm glad, though. I'm glad I apologized._


End file.
